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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675730">Wolves</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang'>idrilhadhafang</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Snoke (Star Wars), Forced to Watch, Forced to hurt somebody, Implied Violence, Kylo Ren Is Not (Always) Nice, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:27:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,889</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of The Last Jedi, Poe Dameron tries to save Kylo Ren. Tries to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bad Day Collection, Darkpilot Songbook</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. In your eyes, there’s a heavy blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I own nothing. </p><p>Author’s Notes: Based on Sofia Karlberg’s cover of “Wolves” by Selena Gomez and Marshmello, which jarred an idea loose.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>That’s Kylo Ren. Luke’s facing him alone</em>.”</p><p>That had been what Poe Dameron had said, at least, when he had watched Kylo Ren out on the expanses of Crait. The salt fields, watching him trudge through towards Luke. It had been a culmination of Poe’s worst fears, his worst worries...but he hadn’t really said it out loud. </p><p>There were only so many things that he had to hide from the others. </p><p>Now, in his room on the <em>Millennium Falcon, </em>Poe was already struggling to come to grips. BB-8 waited by his side patiently, gently, and that was the best comfort that Poe could have, at least in that moment. </p><p>Ben. He’d had feelings that Kylo Ren was familiar somehow. He’d had feelings that there was something familiar about how Kylo Ren had been able to stop a blaster bolt in mid-air, even the matter of the name Kylo Ren, but he had denied them. Even when Kylo had wrenched out memories of Poe and Ben...</p><p>Poe’s hands clenched into fists. The idea that the man who’d cared about him and believed in him was really the same man that had broken into his head...it was something that he wasn’t ready to bear. He liked to think he was tough. He was good under pressure. Usually. The incident with Holdo aside. </p><p>This was too much to bear, though. </p><p>BB-8 butted up gently against his thigh. Poe smiled faintly. Even though BB-8 didn’t understand what was really going on, he was still a comfort. </p><p>“I’m fine, buddy,” Poe said. “I had a hard day.”</p><p>***</p><p>Leia came to see him later. “Poe,” she said. “Is it all right if I speak with you?”</p><p>”Shoot.” Even though there was a part of him that was still angry with her (for hiding things from him, for acting like, suddenly, he didn’t matter and was just an embarrassment towards her), he still looked up to her. Enough to give her another chance. </p><p>Leia sighed. “Larma brought it to my attention that I haven’t been acting like a good leader.”</p><p>
  <em>Just now?</em>
</p><p>“I shouldn’t have hit you,” Leia said. “It...no matter the circumstances, it’s never very...general-like for someone to attack their subordinates. Larma might have compared me to how Vader Force-choked his subordinates, and how...Kylo,” Poe didn’t miss the pain in her voice, “Treated his subordinates at times.”</p><p>”That’s not really a fair comparison,” Poe said. </p><p>“Maybe,” Leia said. “But it got my attention.” Then, “It wasn’t very general-like, for lack of a better word. To do that. It’s not an excuse, but I was in a delicate mental state. Larma suggested I speak with a counselor.”</p><p>”A counselor?”</p><p>Leia nodded. “She suggested that the aftermath of my husband’s death and the stress of the war was wearing away at me. And she suggested you also see a counselor. No, Poe — there’s nothing weak about it. If you had a broken leg, of course you’d see a medic.”</p><p>”You could heal your injuries with the Force.”</p><p>Leia sighed. “Poe, you ruined my symbolism.”</p><p>”Oops.”</p><p>Leia, despite herself, looked like she was about to start laughing. Poe could count that as a win, at least. </p><p>***</p><p>”How are you feeling?” Leia said. </p><p>Poe sighed. “You could have told me,” he said. “About Ben.”</p><p>Leia looked pained. Then, “I did wonder,” she said, “What I was going to tell you. And how. I know that he meant a great deal to you, Ben did. And I wondered if you were ready to take on that burden. If you were ready.”</p><p>”It just hurts,” Poe finally said. “It really does. I wish that he hadn’t...”</p><p>”I know,” Leia said. "There’s something I should at least tell you. About Ben. Snoke forced me to listen to him torturing you, you hurting. That was one of the worst moments of my life.”</p><p>She looked away, blinked. She didn’t cry, but she looked like she was trying to hold back the pain at bare minimum. </p><p>“Leia...” Poe said softly. </p><p>“I felt it,” Leia said. “Ben...didn’t want to do it. I know it because Snoke forced me to listen to him torturing Ben as well.”</p><p>”Kriffing hell, Ben was tortured?”</p><p>”While the stormtroopers were beating you.”</p><p>Poe didn’t want to think about it, the idea of Ben being hurt. He tried to force the image of fingers like claws in his mind, but instead, an image of Ben being tortured sprang up. What Snoke must have been doing to Ben...while the stormtroopers were beating Poe. </p><p>“Stars,” Poe said softly. He wish he knew what to feel. Whether to feel angry at Ben, or pitying him. </p><p>“Snoke hurt him," Leia said. "He hurt him to the point he hated us. Because we weren’t doing anything to help him. And then Snoke...forced him to hurt you. Abused the Force Bond he had with Ben to give him...incentive.”</p><p>She sounded like she was still trying to come to terms with it. </p><p>Poe, meanwhile, was reeling. Ben had been being tortured, abused...and Poe couldn’t save him.</p><p>They’d both been hurt by this monster. </p><p>“And Snoke?”</p><p>Leia swallowed. “Dead. Ben killed him. I...I guess I do wish I’d been able to confront him myself. To look him in the eyes and know why he did this to both of you. Two men who are important to me. Both my sons, in a way.”</p><p>”In a way?”</p><p>”In a way.”</p><p>***</p><p>Leia had to go up to the cockpit to check on their trek to Ajan Kloss. Poe was left alone, reeling. He was still angry with Ben for what he had done. That was obvious. </p><p>But Ben...that thug Snoke had hurt Ben, and Poe hadn’t been able to do anything about it. Leia hadn’t specified what Snoke had done to Ben, only that he had done something. Stars, what had Snoke done?</p><p>Poe’s imagination was all too happy to supply him with ideas. Force Lightning. Vibroblades cutting into skin. Maybe what Ben had been forced to do to Poe, only Snoke had done it willingly?</p><p>Poe’s fists clenched again. He wished, in that moment, that he could have killed Snoke not only for the good of the galaxy, but for the sake of him never hurting Ben again. </p><p>And now Ben had taken Snoke’s place. Become unrecognizable.</p><p>Could Poe bring him back?</p><p>It was ridiculous. But dear stars, Poe thought as he settled in his bed, he wanted to. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. One to love and one to lose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We check in with Kylo.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing.</p><p>Author’s Notes: Thank you to everyone who’s read and left kudos so far!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had all but lost everything. </p><p>It wasn't about the girl, Kylo reflected even as he managed to get to his feet. Even though he did feel a peculiar sense of loss even as he got to his feet. A loss, like someone he could have been friends with was lost to him. </p><p>Rey. She had shown him compassion. It wasn’t like he could back out now, though. He had come too far. It was why he’d ultimately rejected her attempts at saving him. </p><p>Calling him “Ben”. Did she even know anything about him? He hadn’t wanted to be Ben for quite some time. Ben was the name of a man who had died before he was born, a man he could never, truly live up to. </p><p>The Bond was broken. He could feel it. A nagging, gnawing wound that just felt...uncomfortable. That was there. </p><p>It was still nothing compared to everything else he’d lost. His father — and what had been the point of killing him, when Snoke had just moved the goalposts? — his mother’s love, his uncle, Poe...</p><p>He froze. He hadn’t had...ample time to think of Poe, not since everything that had happened. But he remembered. He remembered the stab of betrayal that had come through the Force when he had advanced across Crait. He’d been intent on confronting Luke Skywalker, making him pay for everything he’d lost (stars, what had been so terrible about Kylo that even the man who redeemed Darth Vader wanted to just cut him down?), but he’d felt Poe — and for an infinitesimal moment, he’d hated that Poe had had to see this. Had to feel him. Had to feel that the monster and the man were one and the same.</p><p>It wasn’t Poe’s fault. It was the furthest thing away from Poe’s fault. </p><p>How did he tell him, at least? How did he tell Poe that he hadn’t done anything wrong?</p><p>***</p><p>Did he need to? After all, he shouldn’t care. Let the past die. Hadn’t that been what Snoke had told him, time and time again?</p><p>(Oh stars, he thought, he was becoming like Snoke. Even that thought was repellent, even if it did somehow make him stronger)</p><p>***</p><p>”You did brilliantly,” Hux said sarcastically. “Completely brilliantly. Truly, I can see why we would follow someone like you.”</p><p>Kylo’s hand twitched. He could all but feel the urge to hurl Hux into the nearest wall. But he didn’t. Because the exasperating part about it was that the oily little slimeball had a point. </p><p>“You have,” Kylo said evenly, “Much nerve talking like that.”</p><p>”Because I have a point. Do you know how the Resistance will laugh at us for this? Do you know how they’ll fail to take us seriously as a threat?”</p><p>”That’s awfully rich,” Kylo said, “Coming from someone tricked by an intergalactic prank call.”</p><p>Hux rolled his eyes. “I was not ‘tricked’. I was momentarily caught off-guard — ”</p><p>”And that was why the Fulminatrix was lost and multiple officers, including Captain Canady, were dead?” Kylo said. “You could say that I heard a very lively account of your stupidity while I was in medbay.”</p><p>”At least I didn’t lose to a novice! And fail to realize there was something off about Skywalker..." Hux paused, before adding, “And need I remind you that you wasted valuable manpower firing at nothing? Are you really so stupid that you didn’t notice the difference between a flesh and blood being and an illusion? I thought you were a powerful Force user, not a mentally unstable child in a mask — ”</p><p>
  <em>You’re just a child in a mask...</em>
</p><p>It was when the fog of anger cleared that Kylo saw Hux doubled over, grimacing in pain, his face bruised and cut. </p><p>Embarrassing, he thought. He couldn’t even do something impressive like choke Hux (like Grandfather would have done); he had to beat him up like a non-Force-Sensitive petty grunt would do. </p><p>He healed Hux’s injuries. And then he spoke. “Consider this a warning, Hux,” Kylo said. “Never talk to me like this again.”</p><p>Hux hated him — Kylo could feel the seething, bubbling hatred surfacing in him, reminding him almost of the times he felt it towards Snoke — but said nothing. </p><p>***</p><p>He had to make a statement as the leader of the First Order. But first...he had to speak to Poe. Did he tell him everything? Did he tell him why?</p><p>He still could contact Poe. He remembered, unwantedly, when he had still been Ben Solo, the contacts they’d have between each other when Ben had a nightmare, or Poe had a memory of Kijimi. Just to name a few things. It was stupid, suicidal, would cause a mutiny if Ben did it, but Ben...he couldn’t just leave Poe. </p><p>If you’re reading this, Poe, he typed, <em>You probably already know that I’m Kylo Ren...</em></p>
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